The Bridge Will Hold

Choosing connection over contempt when the canyon feels impossible

Photo by Danaisa Rodriguez on Unsplash

I have to admit something. I've gone back and forth about posting this reflection. Not that I don't believe what I am saying, I just don't know if the timing is right. There is just so much division and hurt. Does what I am about to say have any meaning at all, or will it be seen as delusional? Maybe it is delusional, maybe what I hold for humanity isn't attainable, maybe we are already past the point of no return? I'm not sure. But, I do know one thing for sure... we can't change anything with the mentality that got us where we are today. So I'm deciding to post this. To share with you where I sit today, despite the fact that I still receive random phone calls threatening my life. I can't sit back and pretend that we... humanity... people... are meant to be divided and full of anger and hate. I wholeheartedly believe there is another way.

Still, I see it in the headlines... I hear it in the pauses between words... and feel it in the space that's opened between people who once stood shoulder to shoulder. Fear and hurt have settled into the cracks, and the pull to retreat... to circle up with "our own"... is strong.

There are moments when a word, a look, a headline drops like a stone into the water between us... ripples spreading, the current shifting. I've stood on that bank, weighing the step toward the other side. Sometimes I've turned away. Sometimes I've crossed.

I think most of us are reaching for the same things. We want safety for ourselves and the people we love, a place where we belong, and a future worth walking toward. The paths we choose may look wildly different, but the heart underneath isn't as far apart as it seems. Somewhere along the way, though, we started telling ourselves that if someone's path doesn't match our own, their heart must be different too... and that's when the space between us began to grow and continues to grow today.

It doesn't start as a canyon. More often, it's like a creek that's narrow enough to step across. But every conversation we avoid and every time we choose the comfort of our bubble over messy human connection... the creek widens. It becomes a stream... then a river... then an impossible canyon.

In that widening, something dangerous happens: the people on the other side stop being people. They become symbols... caricatures... the worst version of what we imagine they represent. When we don't know anyone who thinks differently, it's easier to believe they're monsters. When we never look into the eyes of someone whose identity or politics trouble us, it's easier to write them off entirely.

My late teacher, a Daoist Abbott, once reminded me that everyone has a story. Even the person I'd dehumanized by accusing them of hate, or written off because their views were different from mine. But I didn't know their story. I didn't take the time to understand it. And the kicker? When I labeled, when I blamed, when I got angry, I fed their story about me. I become their caricature... the enemy in their eyes.

And when neither of us opens up to listen, to understand, to simply love. It becomes nearly impossible to see the other as anything good. Trust me, it's not easy. I've carried the weight of words meant to break me. I've listened to threats meant to silence me. But I cannot hold on to hate. It does nothing but poison my soul, and it does nothing but keep us divided.

We can build bridges. It's not too late. It starts with seeing the human across from us. What if, beneath the vote you can't understand, there's a parent working extra shifts to cover a child's medical bills? What if they're stocking shelves at the food bank on weekends? What if they're scared about the same things you're scared about... just walking a different road toward the answer?

This isn't about staying in a relationship with everyone. I'm not asking you to put yourself in a situation where you are not safe. But with the people who are still reachable... the relationships worth saving... we have a choice. We can step toward them with curiosity instead of judgment. We can listen to their values instead of their tactics. We can ask what they're trying to protect instead of why they're wrong.

Every time we choose connection over contempt, we lay another plank across the divide. When enough of us do it, the bridge will hold.

We are not each other's enemies; we have simply been blinded by the truth. United, we are strong... and right now, strength is exactly what is needed.

If you are reading this... know that I am here to listen, to support, even if you and I don't hold the same views. Because I know you're hurt, probably even scared, and I hope you can feel my love for you...Together we can build the bridge, and maybe others will join us.

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